Happy Birthday Aries

Aries March 20 – April 20

Ruled by Mars

If they were a spice, Aries would be Cayenne pepper. These people are hot! And Victory is their middle name. Hand them a problem and they’ll figure it out – especially if it garners them personal accolades along the way. Simply put, Aries have no patience for losers. Don’t get me wrong - they won’t kick you when you’re down. Quite the contrary - they’ll be the first one to pull you up. Aries are born leaders who just happen to like to win. They also like Tuesdays and the number 9. And looking at themselves in the mirror. Particularly when they’re wearing red, which they tend to do. A lot.

Luckily, there is a way to keep these hot pepper people partially peaceful (sorry, it just came out this way). And here’s how: Take a giant step back and let them explode. Aries are as quick to simmer as they are to boil. By allowing them to meet their own needs first, they will then be ready to focus on others. Sound self-absorbed? Well it is. But this is how the Ram functions best and as long as you’re willing to wait for the eruption to pass, your devotion will be paid back in spades. An Aries will show you how to stand up for yourself because, frankly, they won’t hang around you very long if you can’t. So if you’re stuck with one, count your blessings; an Aries will give you plenty of opportunity to practice non-reaction. And this will set you up for untold riches in the future.

If your Aries man has had a bad day at work, let him tell you why as, uh, passionately as he needs to. Then ask him for a ride in his red Ferrari. It’s never a good idea to judge or belittle this man. Instead, just be there for him. Once he’s burned his bad mood out, he’ll be ready for a hug and, well - we don’t need to know what happens next. Always remember that under his flaming exterior, your Aries can be painfully insecure. Align yourself with him without clinging and he will be constantly excited by you. Letting him conquer you once in a while is a good idea too, and just might send off fireworks the likes of which you’ve never experienced before. Afterwards, ask him for another ride in his Ferrari. Trust us. And if you don’t, consider this: Marlon Brando, Russell Crowe and Warren Beatty are all Aries men.

Gorgeous tips for the Aries woman:

There isn’t a helpless female amongst you, o Lady of the Fire. Your style is powerful, classic and sometimes even severe. Simple, straight silhouettes tell the world that you’re never one to wallow in self-pity. Why waste time sulking when there are so many organizations to run? Not just a mother, you're the CEO of the family unit – who won't ever subscribe to the pj-all-day look. Red is your most active color, but for those of you who wish to tap into your softer side, pink will deliver – without smoldering your flame. And if black or white must be worn, red lingerie will keep your under-spirits burning bright. Remember, just because you’re one tough cookie, doesn’t make you any less love-able. You’re a gem. So when the right person comes along, let him in. You deserve it.

Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award + Sarasvati

Sarasvati. Ever heard of her? She's the Goddess of Art, Music and the Written Word. In the Hindu culture, she is believed to have taught man to write so as to pass along her songs of wisdom. She has four hands; one to play her vina instrument, one to hold her prayer beads, one to hold a pot of sacred water and one to hold the book containing all the knowledge of the world (wish they sold that on Amazon). 

My friend told me to place a picture of Sarasvati on top of my manuscript and ask for her help in getting it out to the world. What the heck, I decided. Anyone who can look that good with four arms has to know a thing or two. A few weeks later, my book Apron, 11, made the quarterfinals of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. A coincidience? Maybe. Worth a shot anyway? Definitely.

So for all of you artists out there, head to the web and find an image of Sarasvati. Place her in your office, studio, or maybe even on your forehead the next time you're in need of inspiration. That's what I'm going to do.

And if you'd like to read the excerpt from Apron, 11, go to amazon.com/abna and search for it. If I make the semi-finals, I'll be the one walking around with a cut-out of my newest friend and her four arms.

Gorgeous tips for the Pisces Woman

Pisces February 18th – March 20

Ruled by Neptune

A Pisces swims through life choosing the path of least resistance. This is, after all, the sign of the fish. Yes, there are those who will attempt to swim upstream and these are the dissenters – reminding us that not everyone strives to paint between the lines. But it’s the rare Pisces who hasn’t learned to swim (which is dangerous! See: swimfoundation.org for help) and even then, they will move through life gracefully. Make no mistake. Along with their shimmering gills, a Pisces’ aura glitters just as bright.

These people are sensitive and prone to quick sharp outbursts. Well-connected to the spiritual realms (whether they know it or not), Pisces will benefit by taking sea salt baths on a regular basis. Accumulating negative energies is taxing on any human, but for the Pisces whose survival depends on freedom, it can set them up for a late night dip into drug and alcohol abuse. Remember that the artist is also the escapist. Much better to keep cosmically clean and use their magnificent psychic gifts for healing themselves and the world. Which they can no doubt do. Just take a look at what Michelangelo, George Washington and Dr. Suess have done for us.

Your Pisces man is sure to be intoxicating. He is both elusive and mysterious, which any girl knows make us weak at the knees. Whether he’s running healing centers or trust funds, he has the ability to charm the pants off of anyone (yes, we mean your pant(ie)s too) – so make sure his goals are lofty. Once he does profess his devotion to only you, don’t throw down the net. This man needs time alone to ponder the incoming tides. So let him loose once in a while. The way to keep a Pisces man most enchanted is not by acting needy or helpless, but by surprising him with exotic travels and romantic nights.
Gorgeous tips for the Pisces woman

Aquamarine is the gemstone for you, our every-appealing Pisces. You are the original mystical mermaid, from whom all others followed. No dress is too sparkling, no make-up too bright. Unless you’re in your deep blue mood - in which case you’ll slide into your most comfy clothes to ponder the great illusions of the world. Greens and blues are the obvious choice of color, but don’t neglect the lavenders and golds. The oceans are filled with every color of the spectrum, and so too should you be. Accentuate your curves with tight belts and tall heels. Layering longer hair or accessorizing short, will reflect the graceful flow that is inherently yours. Lead us into the bountiful and boundless future we see on the horizon, we’re ready to follow.

Fall Clearance

Fall Clearances are everywhere. If you’re a big fan of retail therapy, as am I, this is great news. But there’s another kind of Fall Clearance that offers big rewards with an even smaller price tag. This is the energy-busting kind. Autumn is the time of year when energy becomes denser and less mobile. In other words, it’s the time of year when things begin to get stuck.

Time for a space clearing.

There are a number of ways to do this. Sea salt (not table salt) is like a magnet for the yucky vibe. A bowl of sea salt in the middle of a room, and/or in the four corners of a bigger room, will absorb any negative energy. Leave in place for twenty-four hours, upon which time the salt must be collected and disposed of. Never pour the salt down a drain or toilet, however. The unwanted energy will be released into your plumbing - and your plumbing reflects your prosperity. It’s best to throw the “used” salt into the ocean where it will be instantly restored to its former self. Of course this is not possible for the majority of us, so the next best thing is to secure the salt in a biodegradable bag (like paper) and dispose of it in the trash.

Another widely used technique for space clearing is with burning sage. This is a dried herb, usually in a small branch, that when lit, draws out the denser energies and disintegrates them within the smoke. The scent it potent, however, so if you don’t want your space to smell like a Grateful Dead concert, this technique may not be for you. I had to warn my neighbors that I was not a delinquent mother of three, just into space clearing. I still don’t think they believe me.

A third way to clear space is with rubbing alcohol, sea salt and fire. This is as dangerous as it sounds. And should not be attempted with small children, pets, or loose hair in the room. With a Pyrex bowl on top of a trivet or metal cookie sheet, fill container with one to two inches of sea salt. Pour rubbing alcohol over the salt until it is saturated. Then with great caution - and curtains and hair out of the way – light a match (do not use a lighter) and drop it into the bowl. A small puff of flame will ignite, drawing in and burning up the negative energy of the room. If possible, close the windows and doors as well. It may take 2-5 minutes for the flame to die out – never leave the fire unattended – after which time the Pyrex bowl will be very hot, as will the burned-out salt. Wait until everything has cooled before disposing of the salt mixture as mentioned above (in a biodegradable bag, straight out to your trash.)

All three of these space-clearing techniques will work to shift and lighten the energy of a room. So if you’re looking for a Fall Clearance, without clearing your wallet, try one of them. Then we can get ready to hunker down for the Winter ahead.

The B Spot

The B spot.

Women have one. Men have one. Anyone who sleeps in a bed has one.
The B spot is the wall space above and behind your bed. And it speaks volumes about you.
My friend, Heather, a fellow Feng Shui junkie, received a frantic call from a wealthy, charming, successful, gorgeous guy. Said Hot Guy was having a dry spell. Women had stopped calling, and falling for him.
“Tell me. What’s in your B Spot?” Heather asked.
“My what?”
“Look. I’m not going to kid you. It’s a brutal way to find out you’ve been sabotaging yourself. But you need to tell me what kind of artwork, if any, is hanging above your bed. And you need to do it now.”
It was a picture of a landscape. A peaceful, soothing field of grass. Squared nicely on the wall above his bed.
“Perfect. You’re attracting a peaceful, soothing energy, devoid of all human contact for as far as the eye can see. And you're wondering how powerful the B Spot can be?”

Time for a Remedy.

What Hot Guy needed was a Geisha Girl in his B spot. And fewer than a few outings later, Hot Guy was once again, hot. He wasn’t looking for a committed relationship any more than he was looking for an empty landscape in between his sheets. He was looking for women to heat up his Hotness. Lots of women. Lots of women whose goal was to please. Say what you will, but that’s what he wanted.
A Geisha Girl, or any other female representing consensual co-heated mingling, placed above your bed, will draw to you just that. This works equally as well for women looking to co-heat with another woman. Men interested in men can follow the same protocol here. You get the drift.
A few months later, Hot Guy called Heather again. He’d met the woman of his dreams and wanted to settle down with her. “Geisha Girl’s gotta’ go,” my friend advised. Because what Geisha Girl represented no longer reflected Hot Guy’s desires. Instead, he now needed something that represented partnership above his bed. Two naked people would work, but so would two birds, or two turtles - whatever it is that represents monogamous coupling. Two dollars might work, but if your goal is to draw in more money, you might want to make it two billions dollars, or any other auspicious money sign (like the number Eight or Eight Chinese coins), instead. Likewise, if your teenage brother’s picture of Marisa Miller in a bikini above his bed speaks to you, by all means take that out for a spin and see what gets activated.

Remember, your house reflects you. Your artwork reflects you. And your B spot reflects you, the most.

It’s brutal. We're not going to kid you. But you need to address your B spot. And if you’re yearning for something that is missing in your life, you need to do it now.

Above my bed is a frame with eleven muscles glued inside it. Not the kind you use to do push-ups with, but the kind that come from the sea, and without the slimy things inside. I had it made by an artist I know and admire, because my own Hot Guy liked what he saw in the artist's gallery. There are eleven shells, for what was our eleventh anniversary. In my own B spot awakening, I admit that at first, I had no idea what this piece of artwork said about us. The shells are glued on nice and tight, have weathered a few tides, and are still hanging together after all this time. Which, on second thought...

Go on. Find your B spot. Then activate it.

08.08.08

08.08.08

Most of us probably don’t reflect much on the meaning of numbers. I’m not talking about the amount, the sum or even their line-up; I am talking about the personality behind each number.

Yes, personality.

The Chinese have chosen the date 08.08.08 as the opening day of the Olympics in Beijing next summer. Random? Coincidence? Come on, people. This is the same civilization that won’t use knives or scissors on New Year's Day (cuts off fortune), or clip toenails or fingernails at night (the person will be visited by a ghost). Nothing is random. Not even numbers.

Deriving from the same I Ching that Feng Shui principles are based upon, the Chinese believe each number carries with it a specific energy. Similar to how the five elements (Wind, Water, Fire, Earth, Metal) can be used to balance a space, numbers can also be used to improve an environment. In this system, called Numerology, numbers are not only for calculating and counting, they explain and predict as well.

In other words, some numbers are “lucky” while others, sadly, are not.

Numerology was originally formed by the pronunciation of the numbers themselves. For example, the Chinese word for “one” sounds much like the word “honor” and carries the attributes of stillness and strength. The word “two” is similar in pronunciation to the word “sure” meaning steadfast and symmetry. And the word “three” sounds like “growth” which translates into abundance.

Unfortunately, the Chinese word for “four” sounds like the word “death”. So unless you own a funeral home with the number 4 in the address, or you stand to inherit great sums of money from the contents of a safe deposit box numbered 4, death pretty much implies “unlucky.” 13’s unfortunate reputation has the 4 to thank. In Numerology, all single digits are added together to determine their base meaning, which when done with 13 becomes a 4. (1+3 = 4). Had the Chinese word for “four” translated into “great sex” instead, it might be standard for every hotel to have an entire elevator board full of 13th floors. As it stands now, many hotels skip this “unlucky” étage all together.

The word “Five” represents balance as it is associated with the Five Elements. “Six” sounds like “wealth” and carries abundance. “Seven” sounds like the Cantonese word for “sure” and is associated with easy happiness. The pronunciation of the number “eight” resembles the word “multiply” and is considered to bring prosperity and fertility. Which means if your husband/boyfriend/significant other’s roomy backseat has a license plate with the number eight in it, you might want to get a room instead (making sure, of course, to avoid the 13th floor). Finally, “Nine” sounds like the words “long life” which to most of us implies happiness and fulfillment. Hopefully yours does.

Sometimes things are confusing in Feng Shui, and sometimes they are just plain synchronistic. When I started this entry, I hadn’t thought much about the address of the house I am living in. It is my parent’s house where we are lucky enough to spend the summer. And it is 4 house. 4 Something Lane, to be exact. (Had the address been 22 Something Lane, it would be very auspicious. 11, 22, and 33 can never be reduced and are all fortunate numbers). This house, however, represents death.

Time for a remedy.

If your house/apartment/dorm room is the number 4 don’t panic. (I threw up, but that’s because really, what were the chances of this?) Instead, take a red pen and circle the number 4 on your house/apartment/dorm room door. Alternatively, you can use the pen to make a red dot on either side of the number (I did both). Either remedy works to burn off the unluckiness of the number 4. If your address includes a 4 - 147 Something Street for example, its overall effect is much less harmful and doesn’t need a remedy at all.

Human personalities can be studied with Numerology as well. In fact, according to this system our characters were set before our last limb left the womb. The only information required is your birthday. I was born June 30th 19.., on second thought I can’t remember my birthday so I will use my friend’s, that is to say, yours. You might have been born 10/26/1979: 1+0=1 +2 =3 +6=9 +1=10 which =1 +9=10 which =1 (again) +7= 8 +9 =17, which when added together = 8. This means if your birthday is October 26, 1979, you are an 8 and should play the lotto often and buy things for your friends, even those you have never met before.

So what does this mean for those of us whose birthday adds up to a 4? Tattoo red dots on either side of our nose? No. Fortunately, a kinder set of rules apply to birthdates. Once you have reduced your birthday to the lowest denominator find your number below:

One - Correlates to independence, but can lead to isolation.
Two - Represents double possibilities and partnership, but can lead to co-dependence.
Three - Attracts enthusiasm, which can lead to impatience if not careful.
Four - Stability, but can turn into stubbornness.
Five - Carries excitement, which can result in restlessness.
Six - Affiliated with nurturing. Be mindful not to turn into martyrdom.
Seven - Associated with spirituality, but can lead to pessimism if too materialistic.
Eight - Prosperity comes easily, but can turn into selfishness if not careful.
Nine - Hopeful and idealistic, but can become self-centered.

Unlike an environmental space, there are no physical remedies to thwart the negative side of each number (you could go ahead and try the red dots on either side of your nose though, and let me know what transpires). Insight, however, can go a long way into identifying and repairing negative personality traits, whether this is your own or your mother-in-law’s. Think of Numerology as a new prescription for reading glasses. Begin to take note of the people in your life and their personality numbers. It might just give you 20/20. (Don’t mind the fact that this adds up to 4).