Gorgeous tips for the Cancer woman and why your crab man likes to cook

Cancer  June 21- July 22

Ruled by the Moon

Crabs have no backbone. They do, however, have claws - ones that will pinch the life out of their prey. And this too, describes the Cancer. Confrontation isn’t their strong suit  - unless they, or someone they love, is in danger. Then, just like the crab, they’ll charge at you full speed sideways. And once a Cancer gets her claws on you, watch out - there ain’t nuthin’ gonna’ to get her off.

Cancers, like their ruling Moon, reflect those around them. These people need to be exceptionally mindful of who they spend time with. Fortunately, Cancers are also the most intuitive sign of the Zodiac. They are hardwired to read minds. As long as they listen to their gut, they’ll know exactly who is trustworthy, and who is not. Those of you without claws be forewarned - you can't lie to this group.  

You can, however, hurt their feelings. Home is where their heart is and Cancers like to spend as much time there as possible. If you do happen to upset a Cancer, it’s best to leave a white peony on her doorstep and retreat. She’ll come out of her shell eventually and most likely forgive you (as long as you’re sincere –remember, she can tell). But watch what you feed these crabs. Cancers’ stomachs are as sensitive as their souls. Yes, this sign might come with some rules, but if you can weather their many moods, a Cancer in your corner will be the warmest part of your house.

Your Cancer man is a great cook – that’s why he’s always inviting you to dine at his house (no, it’s not because he’s cheap!). He may take his time deciding if you’re the one – but once you’ve been pinched he’ll have to be pried off of you. If this bothers you, there are plenty of other fish in the sea (like a Pisces, who’ll give you all the space you need!) But if you’re ready to be cherished, the crab is your man. It’s possible your Crab man is an artist (Rubens), novelist (Ernest Hemmingway), musician (Cat Stevens) or crazy (Robin Williams - we’re just kidding here. Never name-call a Cancer, he’s not apt to forget - or forgive). He may also be very peaceful (Nelson Mandela. The 14^th Dalai Lama.) Or very bossy (Julius Caesar).

Gorgeous tips for the Cancer woman

As hard as her shell is, the crab woman is really all goopy inside. So while you undoubtedly like to layer – what you wear underneath should be soft and sensual. Your curves are your best feature - regardless of their size (Pamela Anderson is a crab), so never fear the belt! Fluid lines and flowing dresses – styles that move like water - will make you feel right at home. Choosing delicate accessories over large dramatic ones will keep your style light and free - unless it’s a diamond, in which case flaunt requirement is mandatory. Keep the rest of the jewelry to a minimum, however. If you put three accessories on, take two off.

And hey! Just because you’re motherly doesn’t mean you have to look matronly. Ever heard of the MILF? They’re talking about you, mamma crab! Whites and pastels are a good reflection of your ruling moon. If you must wear chakra-blocking black, try picking a shimmering fabric or one with sequins. With so much nurture in your nature, covering up your heart chakra with black is, well, kind of a bummer for the rest of us. A cancer woman can make the world a nicer place just by the power of her compassion alone. Princess Diana. Mary Magdalene. Marianne Williamson. Need we go on? And remember, a Cancer woman is never afraid to show off her feminine side because she knows that is where her true power lies.

 

Gorgeous tips for the Gemini Woman

Gemini May 21- June 21

Ruled by Mercury

The twins. These people love a good practical joke. And being a double personality, it’s not all that hard for them to pull one off. Thanks to their Air element, the Gemini can move like the wind - disappearing and reappearing in the blink of an eye as a different person altogether. Needless to say, things can get a little confusing with these guys, so please don’t set your little sister up on a blind date with one.

It’s not entirely their fault. Gemini’s planetary ruler is Mercury and as any good Astronomy major knows (because we had to ask one), half the planet is dark while the other half reflects the sun. Your Gemini friend will be the one calling at 2 am to see if you want to go bungy jumping with her. Right now. In South Africa. Problem is, even if you’re known to settle down on a Saturday night with a good Thesaurus – you’ll be tempted to go. Gemini’s excitement is infectious. These people are the original multi-taskers. (By the way, never drive while Intextacated. That is so 2008).

If Gemini’s were a flavor, they’d be Peppermint. If they were an animal, they’d be a bird. If they were a Musical note, they would be E. If they were the darkest, most tattooed actress in Hollywood, they’d be Angelina Jolie. And if they were the most reserved mother hen actress in Hollywood, they’d be Angelina Jolie. Need we say more?

Your Gemini man is a chameleon. One night he’s Dr. Jekyll and the next he’s Mr. Hyde. Usually not indicative of a psychotic disorder (we can’t really say though, until we’ve met him), this is instead his core identity. Sound confusing? So’s he. One things for sure though, he loves to be the center of attention, half the time. Ever heard of Donald Trump or Paul McCartney? The Gemini man can’t remember how old he is. And who can blame him? One day he’s windsurfing the panama and the next he’s tucked into his lazyboy absorbed in the Sunday crossword puzzle. Don’t try to figure him out. Predicting what he’ll do next is nothing short of emasculating to this man. If you want to keep things going smoothly, you’ll need to have your bags packed and your calendar full at the same time. If you’re looking to break up with the Gemini man, start nagging –over anything and everything. That’s sure to send him running for the hills – where he’ll catch a copter for Tahiti.

Gorgeous Tips for the Gemini Woman

Half of you live to be the life of the party, and the other half prefers to stay home in your fuzzy socks - so dress like it! The gorgeous Gemini woman embraces a fashion dichotomy. Tailored pants with a glitzy halter top, miniskirt with your grandmother’s oversized turtleneck – your style should be anything that is, well, two styles rolled into one. Half of you might shimmer while the other half itches. One ear might sport a hoop and the other a dangle (ok, we’ve never seen this before but you could always start the fad). In order for you to feel complete, you must contrast. If you’re brave enough to pull off an asymmetrical hairstyle… go for it. Just remember, if you adhere to the regular rules, well, then you’ve wasted a good birth date. And send pics!

Gorgeous tips for the Taurus woman-and how to take care of your Bull-ish man.

Taurus  April 20 – May 21

Ruled by Venus

Peaceful until provoked. This is the Bull. Give him room to graze, and he’ll let you live. Bother him, and he’ll charge after you full-boar, especially if it’s raining. Ruled by Venus, which strongly reflects the Sun, Taurus people don’t just like to shine, they like to be shined on. Bad moods disappear or at least dissipate once you get a Taurus in the sun (cue the sunscreen!).

These people love the finer things in life. Art, music, and anything else that spells beautiful, will make a Taurus happy. If you befriend a Taurus, she’ll be your amiga for life. Patient and sensual - and particularly drawn to touch - Taurus make for great lovers. Taurus women relish in their femininity and Taurus men relish in this type of woman. These people also talk a lot. If they were a body part, they’d be the throat. Shirley MacLaine is a Taurus. Ditto Shakespeare and George Clooney.

Your Taurus man must wear the pants in the family. He doesn’t mean to be sexist, it’s just that he is the ruler of his Empire. These bulls work hard to reach their successes and they won’t be undermined by anyone once they get there – even someone they love. They will, however, cherish the home you create for him – be that literally or figuratively. 

A Taurus man may be slow to anger, but take cover once he does. Being supremely loyal himself, nothing makes him angrier than betrayal. If you choose to go there, you won’t be invited back. Good with money, your Taurus will spare no expense to keep you safe and happy – and as tactile as he is, he will leave no part of you untouched. A word of warning: this man is not interested in the ice princess, so don’t bother applying for the job if you’re not willing to light his fire.

Gorgeous tips for the Taurus woman

We know it and you know it, so you might as well say it loud and clear: You are the earth nymphs. Like your male counterpart, you live to touch. Silks, cashmeres and pashimas should adorn you always. Lavish, yes. But you’re a master with money and you never rely on a man for the luxuries you need (and we mean need). Essentials like perfume, candles, castles - you’ll find a way to get all these yourself, thank you, without ever trading in your femininity to do so. 

It’s not that you are a prima donna, exactly, it’s just that in order for you to feel alive, you must be submerged in beauty. So don’t ever skimp on yourself, this will only make you sad. The Cubic Zirconium is your worst nightmare and you can smell a fake from a mile away. In fact, you can smell anything from a mile away. Your sense of smell is so advanced that if there were Rhode Scholarships for the Olfactory geniuses of the world, only the Taurus need apply. Perfume and scented creams are a must for you, and will bring out your most gorgeous happy mood. (Which, take it from those of us with Taurus women in our lives, is the only way you want a Taurus woman in yours.) Go ahead and indulge, Miss Bull. It is for the greater good, after all.

Happy Birthday Aries

Aries March 20 – April 20

Ruled by Mars

If they were a spice, Aries would be Cayenne pepper. These people are hot! And Victory is their middle name. Hand them a problem and they’ll figure it out – especially if it garners them personal accolades along the way. Simply put, Aries have no patience for losers. Don’t get me wrong - they won’t kick you when you’re down. Quite the contrary - they’ll be the first one to pull you up. Aries are born leaders who just happen to like to win. They also like Tuesdays and the number 9. And looking at themselves in the mirror. Particularly when they’re wearing red, which they tend to do. A lot.

Luckily, there is a way to keep these hot pepper people partially peaceful (sorry, it just came out this way). And here’s how: Take a giant step back and let them explode. Aries are as quick to simmer as they are to boil. By allowing them to meet their own needs first, they will then be ready to focus on others. Sound self-absorbed? Well it is. But this is how the Ram functions best and as long as you’re willing to wait for the eruption to pass, your devotion will be paid back in spades. An Aries will show you how to stand up for yourself because, frankly, they won’t hang around you very long if you can’t. So if you’re stuck with one, count your blessings; an Aries will give you plenty of opportunity to practice non-reaction. And this will set you up for untold riches in the future.

If your Aries man has had a bad day at work, let him tell you why as, uh, passionately as he needs to. Then ask him for a ride in his red Ferrari. It’s never a good idea to judge or belittle this man. Instead, just be there for him. Once he’s burned his bad mood out, he’ll be ready for a hug and, well - we don’t need to know what happens next. Always remember that under his flaming exterior, your Aries can be painfully insecure. Align yourself with him without clinging and he will be constantly excited by you. Letting him conquer you once in a while is a good idea too, and just might send off fireworks the likes of which you’ve never experienced before. Afterwards, ask him for another ride in his Ferrari. Trust us. And if you don’t, consider this: Marlon Brando, Russell Crowe and Warren Beatty are all Aries men.

Gorgeous tips for the Aries woman:

There isn’t a helpless female amongst you, o Lady of the Fire. Your style is powerful, classic and sometimes even severe. Simple, straight silhouettes tell the world that you’re never one to wallow in self-pity. Why waste time sulking when there are so many organizations to run? Not just a mother, you're the CEO of the family unit – who won't ever subscribe to the pj-all-day look. Red is your most active color, but for those of you who wish to tap into your softer side, pink will deliver – without smoldering your flame. And if black or white must be worn, red lingerie will keep your under-spirits burning bright. Remember, just because you’re one tough cookie, doesn’t make you any less love-able. You’re a gem. So when the right person comes along, let him in. You deserve it.

Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award + Sarasvati

Sarasvati. Ever heard of her? She's the Goddess of Art, Music and the Written Word. In the Hindu culture, she is believed to have taught man to write so as to pass along her songs of wisdom. She has four hands; one to play her vina instrument, one to hold her prayer beads, one to hold a pot of sacred water and one to hold the book containing all the knowledge of the world (wish they sold that on Amazon). 

My friend told me to place a picture of Sarasvati on top of my manuscript and ask for her help in getting it out to the world. What the heck, I decided. Anyone who can look that good with four arms has to know a thing or two. A few weeks later, my book Apron, 11, made the quarterfinals of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. A coincidience? Maybe. Worth a shot anyway? Definitely.

So for all of you artists out there, head to the web and find an image of Sarasvati. Place her in your office, studio, or maybe even on your forehead the next time you're in need of inspiration. That's what I'm going to do.

And if you'd like to read the excerpt from Apron, 11, go to amazon.com/abna and search for it. If I make the semi-finals, I'll be the one walking around with a cut-out of my newest friend and her four arms.

Gorgeous tips for the Pisces Woman

Pisces February 18th – March 20

Ruled by Neptune

A Pisces swims through life choosing the path of least resistance. This is, after all, the sign of the fish. Yes, there are those who will attempt to swim upstream and these are the dissenters – reminding us that not everyone strives to paint between the lines. But it’s the rare Pisces who hasn’t learned to swim (which is dangerous! See: swimfoundation.org for help) and even then, they will move through life gracefully. Make no mistake. Along with their shimmering gills, a Pisces’ aura glitters just as bright.

These people are sensitive and prone to quick sharp outbursts. Well-connected to the spiritual realms (whether they know it or not), Pisces will benefit by taking sea salt baths on a regular basis. Accumulating negative energies is taxing on any human, but for the Pisces whose survival depends on freedom, it can set them up for a late night dip into drug and alcohol abuse. Remember that the artist is also the escapist. Much better to keep cosmically clean and use their magnificent psychic gifts for healing themselves and the world. Which they can no doubt do. Just take a look at what Michelangelo, George Washington and Dr. Suess have done for us.

Your Pisces man is sure to be intoxicating. He is both elusive and mysterious, which any girl knows make us weak at the knees. Whether he’s running healing centers or trust funds, he has the ability to charm the pants off of anyone (yes, we mean your pant(ie)s too) – so make sure his goals are lofty. Once he does profess his devotion to only you, don’t throw down the net. This man needs time alone to ponder the incoming tides. So let him loose once in a while. The way to keep a Pisces man most enchanted is not by acting needy or helpless, but by surprising him with exotic travels and romantic nights.
Gorgeous tips for the Pisces woman

Aquamarine is the gemstone for you, our every-appealing Pisces. You are the original mystical mermaid, from whom all others followed. No dress is too sparkling, no make-up too bright. Unless you’re in your deep blue mood - in which case you’ll slide into your most comfy clothes to ponder the great illusions of the world. Greens and blues are the obvious choice of color, but don’t neglect the lavenders and golds. The oceans are filled with every color of the spectrum, and so too should you be. Accentuate your curves with tight belts and tall heels. Layering longer hair or accessorizing short, will reflect the graceful flow that is inherently yours. Lead us into the bountiful and boundless future we see on the horizon, we’re ready to follow.

Fall Clearance

Fall Clearances are everywhere. If you’re a big fan of retail therapy, as am I, this is great news. But there’s another kind of Fall Clearance that offers big rewards with an even smaller price tag. This is the energy-busting kind. Autumn is the time of year when energy becomes denser and less mobile. In other words, it’s the time of year when things begin to get stuck.

Time for a space clearing.

There are a number of ways to do this. Sea salt (not table salt) is like a magnet for the yucky vibe. A bowl of sea salt in the middle of a room, and/or in the four corners of a bigger room, will absorb any negative energy. Leave in place for twenty-four hours, upon which time the salt must be collected and disposed of. Never pour the salt down a drain or toilet, however. The unwanted energy will be released into your plumbing - and your plumbing reflects your prosperity. It’s best to throw the “used” salt into the ocean where it will be instantly restored to its former self. Of course this is not possible for the majority of us, so the next best thing is to secure the salt in a biodegradable bag (like paper) and dispose of it in the trash.

Another widely used technique for space clearing is with burning sage. This is a dried herb, usually in a small branch, that when lit, draws out the denser energies and disintegrates them within the smoke. The scent it potent, however, so if you don’t want your space to smell like a Grateful Dead concert, this technique may not be for you. I had to warn my neighbors that I was not a delinquent mother of three, just into space clearing. I still don’t think they believe me.

A third way to clear space is with rubbing alcohol, sea salt and fire. This is as dangerous as it sounds. And should not be attempted with small children, pets, or loose hair in the room. With a Pyrex bowl on top of a trivet or metal cookie sheet, fill container with one to two inches of sea salt. Pour rubbing alcohol over the salt until it is saturated. Then with great caution - and curtains and hair out of the way – light a match (do not use a lighter) and drop it into the bowl. A small puff of flame will ignite, drawing in and burning up the negative energy of the room. If possible, close the windows and doors as well. It may take 2-5 minutes for the flame to die out – never leave the fire unattended – after which time the Pyrex bowl will be very hot, as will the burned-out salt. Wait until everything has cooled before disposing of the salt mixture as mentioned above (in a biodegradable bag, straight out to your trash.)

All three of these space-clearing techniques will work to shift and lighten the energy of a room. So if you’re looking for a Fall Clearance, without clearing your wallet, try one of them. Then we can get ready to hunker down for the Winter ahead.